i remember those times when i was in your arms, hugging you tightly.
i miss those special moment with you, mummy.
Prelims result was fucked up. My life is fucked up right now. Those mistakes i made have been done. There is no turning back now, I just got to look forward, keep on walking no matter how hard the path is. I ought to pull myself up but I just can't. I know there are people who were once in my shoes. In life, there is no shortcuts. I can't avoid the problems I am facing, I can't ignore those problems.
Those problems have became knots in my life, which are left unattended. However, the more I struggle to untied those knots, it just become more & more complicated & soon, more knots are found. I left those knots alone & let it stay the way it is right now. There is nothing much I can do. No matter how hard I try to hide, I guess it just gets tougher & tougher. I don't wish to avoid or hide at one corner, pretending things are alright. I know I have to step it up but I am clueless.
My father doesn't believe true, lasting friendship exist. He keep reprimanding me on that topic. I'll be thinking to myself, do I need my friends? Without thinking twice, I knew my answer; Yes. My friends bring joy, laughter to my life & also, tears. However, if life is perfect, we ain't real.
I failed umpteen times & soon, it has become a habit. I just got use to failing. Soon, my marks doesn't seem to bother me. But today, it was a wake up call. I guess everyone is moving forward except me, standing at the exact same spot since the beginning of the year, not moving back or moving forward. Perhaps, it is time for me to move this first step. I will, I try.
Those problems have became knots in my life, which are left unattended. However, the more I struggle to untied those knots, it just become more & more complicated & soon, more knots are found. I left those knots alone & let it stay the way it is right now. There is nothing much I can do. No matter how hard I try to hide, I guess it just gets tougher & tougher. I don't wish to avoid or hide at one corner, pretending things are alright. I know I have to step it up but I am clueless.
My father doesn't believe true, lasting friendship exist. He keep reprimanding me on that topic. I'll be thinking to myself, do I need my friends? Without thinking twice, I knew my answer; Yes. My friends bring joy, laughter to my life & also, tears. However, if life is perfect, we ain't real.
I failed umpteen times & soon, it has become a habit. I just got use to failing. Soon, my marks doesn't seem to bother me. But today, it was a wake up call. I guess everyone is moving forward except me, standing at the exact same spot since the beginning of the year, not moving back or moving forward. Perhaps, it is time for me to move this first step. I will, I try.
- Monday, September 13, 2010
- 0 Comments
