Moment away.


River Viiperi.

Always get a cute model to just start your day. You will be thinking of him or smiling away. I don't know. It just freaking works on me so I don't give a damn to what you guys think. I have been stressed up so basically this what I can get away. Usually I need a getaway, I run to my Tumblr. It is the best damn thing I ever had and I mean it! I really do.

Tuesday night @ Chips with the usual girls. Mp got high. And guess who I saw. The boy I hate now. Great. That cause me drink more. Which means I am getting poorer each day. I need a job after I come back from my 3 weeks in Vietnam. I should find a higher pay and cooler job. I need more experience. Been to retail, F&B. There is more to it. More to your job choices. 

Hopefully, this Friday's Presentation will be okay. Pray!

Worried.


See this skinny legs?
Jealous?
Well, I am.














Recently, I watched Demi Lovato's Stay Strong Documentary. I realized I was once cutting myself unknowingly, loving the pain, crying it out. And now, I realized I am going to have eating disorder problems. Current stage : Early.

It isn't very serious like hers. But once I eat too much, I will skip my other meals and forced myself to stay away from food. So basically, I eat one meal per day. If I eat supper, I will feel disgusted so I will vomit or just don't eat the next day till late evening. It is just the thought of the amount of food I had. And part of me just hate it. Hate me for eating so much. I start to look at myself in the mirror. Judge the way I look. Hate it. At the same time, I feel like harming my own body. I have thought of cutting my body, cutting the fats out.

I guess most girls think that way too. It is just that the world judge you from the way you look. I became so self-conscious about my own body. I even lied to my parents that I ate my dinner and stuff. At least, my situation isn't that serious. So I guess I am over-thinking. 

Side of me.

There is another side of me.
Trying to force it way out.
Trying to show the world what I am.
But I know if the world knows,
they might not even care.
They might hate me.

This is.


The world is ahead of you.
You just sit back and think to yourself.
What am I doing with my life?
What is my life?
Lost and Empty.
 

My life seems so .. Honestly, I have no word to describe it. Feeling lazy right now. I guess it is the life of Jolin.

Forgotten.


We just live in a world filled with lies.
Can we just move away from it?
Can we just run away?

Lovely.


Beauty of life.
Death fear no man.
 
I am having history lesson. Oh god. This is so boring. My lecture saying tanned skin people tend to be unhealthy! No way. I am healthy like a freaking strong bull. Okay Me being judgmental! Been very stressed out over my major project - Food Design. It sounds easy but HELL NO.

It is totally tough. I can never satisfy my lecturers. They always have awesome ideas which I can't really do. Partly, I don't have an oven. Oven seems very important right now. And also, I don't have a blender. Wowww. I shall asked mama to add more things into the kitchen! Well, at least, I learnt that I can cook! I really do can. Trust me. I rock (:

My mashed potato was awesome. My family was digging it. Not as good as KFC! but hey, NOT BAD OKAY (: Proud of myself (:

Easy way out.

"If I let you go, I will never know what my life will be holding you close to me. Will I ever see you smiling back at me. How will I know, if I let you go? " 
-Westlife

Listening to old hits. Bring memories. Well, they are wonderful memories. Definitely good. I mean I have bad memories that I wish I could just delete it. But how will I ever learn? How will I ever know what is right or wrong? How will I know what is Love and what is Lie? It is those moments I had, that I experiences which left memories. Be it good or bad. They are part of me now.

Anyways, I AM INTO THE POTATO MOOD <3