Worried.

See this skinny legs?
Jealous?
Well, I am.














Recently, I watched Demi Lovato's Stay Strong Documentary. I realized I was once cutting myself unknowingly, loving the pain, crying it out. And now, I realized I am going to have eating disorder problems. Current stage : Early.

It isn't very serious like hers. But once I eat too much, I will skip my other meals and forced myself to stay away from food. So basically, I eat one meal per day. If I eat supper, I will feel disgusted so I will vomit or just don't eat the next day till late evening. It is just the thought of the amount of food I had. And part of me just hate it. Hate me for eating so much. I start to look at myself in the mirror. Judge the way I look. Hate it. At the same time, I feel like harming my own body. I have thought of cutting my body, cutting the fats out.

I guess most girls think that way too. It is just that the world judge you from the way you look. I became so self-conscious about my own body. I even lied to my parents that I ate my dinner and stuff. At least, my situation isn't that serious. So I guess I am over-thinking.