Honesty

When you start to date someone, you should notice their flaws & their imperfection. And shouldn't those imperfection makes her feel special and unique? I guess I don't know if I am right or wrong. After almost 1 year of being in love & being hurt & being crazy, I reached my limit. 

This is me. Being indecisive about what I want. Afraid of being fat again. Afraid of not being good enough. Afraid that I can't make him happy. Afraid to quarrel with him. I want to stop being afraid anymore. He is a good person, a nice man but our personality clashed. He wants girl who can listen to him, make decision fast & do what he wants her to do while I am a girl who is indecisive, flawed & want to do things that he don't want me to do. 

There is room for improvement on myself & of course, I will work hard towards it. I guess relationship isn't my thing. 1 year ago, I broke off with a guy who I was with for 2 years. Today, I broke off with a guy who I was with for nearly a year. I do not want to go through this. I just want to be happy. Love isn't my thing.

I just want to live in my world now because what I felt before was long gone. Your man that walked past you & never notice you, you start to feel real small in his eyes. We both did the best we can for this relationship but I guess we are just not compatible. 

For now, I just want to find myself.