.

He will never reply me & I don't blame him. If someone out there listens to him better than I do, that person deserve him. It is not I don't want to listen to him but ever since I work in this company, I can't concentrate on him as much as he do. Answering to clients, dealing with my boss & the other colleague & other workloads + my life, I am so carried away that I don't know how to balance everything.

And if I tell him that, he will reply me, " Okay. Then I will be like you. I won't put you as my first priority because you can't put me first. " I don't know if I know him completely but I know what he will reply when we quarrel. I let him rant to me about his NS stuff. I may not be the most understanding person/a person who knows about army life but I try to listen to him & take in as much as I know. Am I really bad? 

I don't want to keep complaining to him about my work stuff because it is not needed all the time. He don't even know what I do much at work because it is hard to explain to him/anyone. 

I wish I can type more here but I don't know what words to write on what I am feeling. I just want to get away from here; from life.